What is the situation that you are upset about?
Answer: reflecting on my Mom and other similar abandoner’s and abusers in my past relationships with women
What are the unhealthy negative emotions that you are experiencing?
Answer: shame embarrassment hurt anxiety depression procrastination
What self-defeating behaviors would you like to change?
Answer: withdrawal or avoiding social contact
What demand are you making about the situation?
Answer: if I didn’t have love and approval from my Mom and subsequent relationships I am an inadequate worthless person. Because the world I lived in was not comfortable and safe I cant stand it and life is horrible and hardly worth living
Dispute: Is there any evidence that I am an inadequate and worthless person? Is there any evidence that I can’t stand life and seek out some satisfactions even when I have difficulties?
Rational Belief: There is no evidence that I am inadequate and worthless. There is no evidence that I cannot stand difficulties and life. The opposite is evidently true because I am standing it. Latest in these realizations is: its not my fault, the procrastinations (teeth to taxes) I used to rate myself with, were a consequence, and I have dealt with all of them, (teeth to taxes), while recovering from a stroke. That is the evidence.
What are your new healthy negative emotions?
Answer: sadness disappointment regret concern
What are your new self-helping behaviors?
Answer: talking to strangers, asking for what I want, tacking unpleasant tasks without needless delay, exercising, eating healthily.