Last Night….my Mind Healed.

Woke up thinking, fuck it was a circus in this room last night. Nurses and patients attending each other the only thing missing was the fucking dancing bear. Then I laughed and laughed. I knew I was going to be ok. I AM OK. Since this stroke I haven't described events in terms of metaphor … Continue reading Last Night….my Mind Healed.

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When Digital Arrived I Became An Artist….

It's interesting that I've been struggling with guilt over these damn conte charcoals, that I should use them or I'm not an artist. Duh. They may have been essential to learn with and those that like them do beautiful work.....but I don't like them. I feel like Bush senior, I'm the president of the United … Continue reading When Digital Arrived I Became An Artist….

Spotting the Spots

So Ellis says people and things from the past don't have the power to create a depression.  Only what I think about them can do that. OK. So my sister shows up. Behaves the way narcissists often do, i.e. looking and sounding reliable but isn't, so she should be that way, because she is, and … Continue reading Spotting the Spots

ToeNails

I ran a narcissist test by my re-connected sister. Simply I asked for what I wanted, a relationship deepening exercise, and waited to see what happened. I hadn't seen her for 14 years since my wife died. At that time I asked for support, emotional and material, promises were made and nothing was forthcoming. I … Continue reading ToeNails

Spiritual Girl

So. She asked me if I was spiritual at all, as she was very spiritual. So, I carefully explained that all creatures are predisposed to anxiety, genetically, in order to run away from danger. Monkeys who are born and raised in laboratories, masturbate constantly in order to distract and relieve their over-anxiety. Obsessive and compulsive … Continue reading Spiritual Girl

Ride

Andrha Simonis suggested I use a 'power phrase' to focus on while I recover. When my wife died and my brother and best friend as well, I went driving courier, and sang this song. "As long as these wheels keep Rollin, I'll be satisfied. Gonna ride ride ride" In other words I stubbornly refused to … Continue reading Ride

Mark and Menha

Sitting in the coffee shop at the hospital. Mark walks up full of false cheer.  He has sold me art supplies for 40 years, and his father before him, and now his daughter.  His wife has been here for 167 days. So he sat down exhausted and told me about it, her stroke journey, as … Continue reading Mark and Menha