These are the aspects of the really horrible people that I found myself meeting in hospital. I suppose they are narcissists. Narcissists love working in and being in hospitals, because people don’t stay long enough to get to know and see the real them. Of course they have a steady source of victims, aka patients, to pretend to care for, so they look good, in most cases. They hate not looking good.
So on top of an illness you have the let down of being consequently conned, pretty much constantly.
The first words out of their mouths, typically are, ‘How are you’. It’s done automatically, a virtue signaling, so that all within earshot would know their supposed virtue. At first, because I was distracted with being ill and recovering, I answered the question at face value, I mean I was speaking to a medical or psychological professional (they are the worst). As I became less self absorbed by growing used to my situation, I could see that these folks were always self absorbed, always ill.
So, despising bullies the way I do, I would change it up, and so call on them to focus on their patient, which caused much anxiety and hostility. Answers such as, ‘Well, I had a stroke’, really fucked them up, especially because I was living on a neuro acute care ward for six months because I, you know, had a severe stroke. They simply were not equipped emotionally to deal with someone else’s trauma, and hated being called on to do so, and risk showing their true colours.
Eventually I stopped answering. Rarely did they notice as they were all about signaling their virtue and there was no way they were getting into the patients hard luck rivalry for care and attention. Definitely a second class second choice. So not answering them was a kindness of sorts, because they were not equipped for the answer.
There was one guy who took my no answer as a cause of concern. Not that he cared about the answer but he needed some kind of answer for his agenda. ‘Well, when I feel that way, I talk to my Lord Jesus Christ’. Oh Christ.
It turned out that most of these nurses and para what have yous, were big into the church, a source of irony in a bastion of science and evidence based medicine. By ‘big into’ I mean it in the original intent, having a large erect penis for all to see and admire. The female version of pushup bras, notwithstanding.
The most recent version was the psychologist on my team of professionals I was sent to see as an out patient. Mincing along in her girdle and pushup bra, running ahead to hold the door for me and my walker, so all could see how compassionate she was. This all stopped at the door to her office of course. Once inside she was the usual victim blaming insane psychologist who got angry and threw rocks, if I didn’t like her. She needed her patients to like her, which since there was not much to like, caused all kinds of craziness. Think of having Donald Trump, or your rapist, as your therapist.
She really disliked Albert Ellis, of course, the foremost psychotherapist of the last century, inventor of evidence based psychology. I mean here is the guy responsible for deprogramming me from several kinds of hurtful nonsense simply by asking me to ask, is there any evidence for this self defeating belief. She wanted me to believe several things about her for which there was no evidence: kindness, compassion and empathy for a start. She was all about getting her needs to be liked met, which didn’t lend itself to my trusting her with my vulnerability around dealing with a devastating life event. When half your body is paralyzed you really can give a good goddamn about symbolic shiny erect penis’s, push up bras, and my Lord Jesus Christ for Christ sake. My new self helping behavior was getting out her door as quickly as possible, as she was pissed because I had interrupted her lunch, and when she made a point of telling me so, which was honest and refreshing; open hostility, rather than the usual passive aggressive kind of ‘how are you’.
So the narcissistic victim rivalry and virtue signaling, when extended to the care giving professions really makes them care taking professions, they are called care takers for good reason. Think Vampires sucking away at your energy, there is more than one kind of leech in the hospital, demanding that you acknowledge their care compassion and empathy when there is no evidence for those beliefs. Think of Dorothy peering behind the curtain, you are certainly not in Kansas anymore.
“To live outside the law, you must be honest.”–Bob Dylan
nobody fucks with the Jesus